The Kiosks
by Kitten Trails
Summary: Batter suggests Kit, Meta and company go on a trip to the great outdoors, but it goes horribly wrong.


"There's nothing better than a good old-fashioned camping trip!" The white tomcat piped in a fruity voice, his paws on his hips and his tail standing straight up, as he had one leg raised on a tree stump proudly. A creamy brown rabbit brushed past him, her shoulders slunked and head lowered.

"Easy for you to say." She grumbled, and flinched as she dropped a heavy pack from her back to the ground. She sat down in the grass, breathing heavily. Soon, a bulky gray wolf walked past the tom and lowered the bag on his shoulders to the ground as if it were nothing. The rabbit glared at him.

"Vhat?" He asked. She didn't reply more than a groan.

The sun glistened through the trees as the others began to arrive and place their own belongings down. A fluffy wolf-fox, a small gray molly and another gray tomcat, a white tomcat, a silver rabbit, a light blue she-cat, a black tomcat, a black fox, and three young ones. As soon as they all were present, the white tomcat hopped down from the stump and began to help everyone unpack.

"Who's idea vas zhis again?" The wolf-fox complained tautly, swatting an insect away.

"Mine, Meta." The snowy tom sighed. "You losers need to start getting out of that hotel, you're getting so stir-crazy that you're killing people."

The gray she-cat interrupted, raising her paw. "That's not why we're killing people, Batter." He shot her a warning glance. She silenced.

"I'm sure there were other ways to go about getting us out than sending us on a camping trip." The young black fox mused. The creamy rabbit nodded an agreement.

"You can say that again, Nick. The only thing we'll achieve from this trip is death by-" She cut off to swat her paw at the air. "-_mosquito_ _bites_!"

Batter frowned and twitched his tail in agitation. "Well, you're gonna have to deal with it, because we're already out here. There's no turning back now." A few more groans came from the team, but they didn't complain again. At this, everyone finished unpacking. Dietrich and Vanya began to set up one of the tents, Cecil and Blue did one, while Zero and Saber did the other.

"It's not _that _bad!" Saber chimed, in hopes of lightening the mood. "I mean, smell the fresh air! Look at the pretty scenery! It's nice!" Zero rolled her eyes and flopped one ear.

"Yeah, I'm sure all these bugs had similar plans." She grumbled.

Once the tents were set up, everyone was sorted out. Batter, Vanya, Blue, Dietrich and Mattie all shared the first tent. Meta, Kit, Saber, Zero, and Nick shared the second, while Pippin, Lavender and Kira shared the third. By this time it was around the end of the afternoon. "Yeesh, I'm hungry." Nick yawned, stretching out as he lounged by a campfire they set up. His gray cat friend poked him and nudged him over to where a bag with food was.

A few minutes later, people began to gather around the fire. Soon enough everyone (except the kids, who were playing in the woods) was there.

"Hey! I have an idea!" Mattie exclaimed. "Let's play campfire games!"

"Like what?" Zero called, pricking one ear straight up.

"...like...truth or dare." The red-and-white tom snirked, fluffing his tail up and lifting a small turtle into his arms and stroking it's shell.

"Good idea, Mattie!" Batter agreed. He looked up at the circle around the fire. "Who wants to go first?" Nobody answered at first, until Nick raised his paw. "Okay Nick, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Hm..." the white tomcat scratched his chin, and nipped the rim of his hat. "Do you think you'd make a good father?" The black fox blinked and thought for a moment.

"Uhh, I dunno. I like kids I guess, but I don't know if that answers the question." Batter nodded understandingly.

Nick looked around the circle and pointed at the bulky wolf. "Dietrich! Truth or dare?"

He scrunched his nose with a grin. "Dare."

The black fennec fox twitched his nose, then spoke. "Give everyone here a rude nickname."

Dietrich blinked, caught slightly offguard. He then scratched his head and scanned the circle gathered around the fire. First he pointed to Batter. "Creep." Then to Zero. "Perverted creep." Blue, "Annoying mozhgirl," and Saber, "Somezhing very wrong." "I don't even know," to Vanya, and "Spunky, hormonal sister," to Meta (resulting in a glare from her) and "Robot." to Kit, "I don't have an insult." to Mattie, and finally "Vhy are you even here?" To Nick.

Let's just say he got hit multiple times and leave it at that.

"Vanya... Truzh...or...or dare?" The wolf mumbled, rubbing his bruised forehead dizzily.

"Truth!" He answered cheerfully.

"Umm...are you flamboyant?" At this, Vanya lowered his eyelids disbelievingly.

"No. No I am not, unlike _you._" He replied with an eyeroll, and Dietrich just chuckled with a glance at Mattie. Vanya scanned the group and pointed to Meta.

"Truth or dare?" He pressed, a devious grin carving his mouth. She twitched an ear and replied,

"Truth."

Vanya leaned back, thinking of what he'd have her say. "Do you ever fantasize about anyone?" He smiled, batting his eyelids. Batter covered his mouth to hide his laughter. Meta straightened her posture and looked away.

"N-no, of course not! Z-zhat's...c-creepy." She stammered, knowing Vanya obliviously hit her weak spot. She brushed herself off quickly and turned back to the group. "Uhh, Zero!" She called the name of the creamy rabbit. "Truzh or dare?"

The rabbit smirked at her hurry but said nothing of it. "Dare, of course." She chose.

"I dare yooou...to describe how you would commit the perfect murder."

"Easy." She smiled. "Cyanide poisoning. Visit right before they have someone else coming over and poison the foccet water. They will either bathe in it or drink it." Meta stared at her questionably, but she's a murderer too so it doesn't matter what she has to say.

"Kitkat!~" Zero honeyed. "Truth or dare?"

"Uhm..." the gray she-cat thought. "T-truth." She had every right to be nervous.

"Kiiitttyy, are you a viiiirgiiin?" The rabbit singsonged. Kit's face flushed a green color.

"Z-Zerooo!" She squeaked, flattening her ears. Zero scooted over to her.

"C'mooon~ didja meet any unsuspecting potential lovers these past 35 years? Hauuu!"

"N-no!"

"Well, are ya lookin'?~"

"Zero, that's enough! She answered the question, leave her alone." Nick scolded. The creamy rabbit flopped her ears in disappointment and went back to her seat.

Kit sighed and sat up and looked around, still a bit flustered. She looked to Saber. "Saber, truth or dare?"

"Truth!"

"..do you believe in Karma?" Kit asked. The black tom frowned sadly.

"Yeah. It hits you pretty hard sometimes." He mumbled, shuffling his feet. Cecil placed a paw on his shoulder comfortingly, and he blushed and shot him a small smile.

After lots more complaints, sobs, and facepalms, the game eventually ended at sunddown. Everyone was going to bed now.

And so it begins.

* * *

Meta was tucked away like a burrito in her sleeping bag in the second tent. She tossed and turned, unable to find sleep due to the sound of Nick snoring. She scrunched her nose in irritation and laid back, her chest slighty raised due to her spikes. She stared up at the tent ceiling and started counting, and eventually found herself in the 1600's but still awake. She groaned in the darkness, then heard one of the sleeping bags zip open, and saw that Kit was awake. She sat up. "Kit? Vhy are you avake?" She asked in a whisper. The gray molly's face showed her slightly distressed.

"I have to use the bathroom," she whispered back. "Can you come with me?" Meta sighed and slunked up, only agreeing because her legs were asleep and because she had no better things to do with her time. When she and Kit stood up, Zero and Nick woke.

"Where are you two goin'?" Zero asked, half asleep. Nick yawned.

"She has to use zhe bathroom. I'm taking her out to zhose public restrooms near zhe park kiosks. You vanna come?" The wolf-fox offered.

"Sure." The two of them answered simultaneously. The four kids stumbled through the darkness and unzipped the tent door and walked out. When they were out, Meta noticed two figures huddled by the dying fire. When they got closer she made out who they were.

"Saber? Cecil? Vhy are you two still up?" She called. The tomcat and the silver rabbit turned to face the four.

"Why are _you _still up?" Saber challenged.

"Kit has to use zhe bazhroom." She answered calmly.

"And all three of you are joining her becaaause...?" Cecil trailed off.

"They woke us up." Zero explained for her and Nick. "What about you two? No nighttime affairs, I'm hopin'?" She smirked promiscuously. Both of them blushed a bright red.

"W-whaaa?" Saber stammered.

"Don't take her seriously." Meta rolled her eyes. "It's somezhing ve must all deal vith." Saber sighed in defeat.

"We're just talking." Cecil shrugged. "We'll go to bed soon. You four go on ahead, but be careful not to get lost." They were already walking off.

"Yeah yeah, you two can continue making out now, we're leavin'! C'mon guys." Zero put her arms around Kit and Nick and pulled them along, while Meta just facepawed and followed after them, leaving a flustered Saber and Cecil behind.

They continued through the forest, and Meta _tried_ making conversation. "Nick, vhat in zhe vorld happened to you to make you snore so _loudly!? _I couldn't even close my eyes wizh zhat noise!"

The black fennec fox gasped in offence. "Don't insult my snoring! It's better than yours will EVER be!"

"It's not somezhing to be proud of."

"It's music to my ears!" Zero cut in. "His snoring lulls me to sleep like a child's lullaby." Nick widened his eyes and smiled at her.

"Really? I didn't know that I did that for you..." he blushed. Zero hugged him from behind and brushed her cheek against his.

"You do sooo much more than that, baby." She purred. He nuzzled back. Meanwhile, the wolf-fox tried to hold back her gagging (and envy.)

"Hey Kit." She turned her attention to her friend. "You saw Saber and Cecil. Do you zhink she and him might get togezher?" Kit didn't answer, she just hung her head and walked slowly, her arms behind her back. _She must have to go too much for conversation. _

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Meta immediately spun around back to Zero and Nick. Nick had a mortified look on his face and was swatting the air violently.

"Hey hey hey, vhy are you screaming?" Meta asked, worry edging her voice.

"Something bit 'im!" Zero exclaimed, stopping and pulled at his arm. He had a strange bite mark in the center of his arm.

"Vhat vas it? Did you see it, Nick?" Meta pressed. Kit was standing beside her now, looking at Nick in worry.

"I-I-IT WAS T-TH-THIS H-HUGE P-PINK AND Y-YELLOW B-BUG!" He stuttered, starting to hypervenilate. Zero put her paws on his shoulders.

"Calm down! If you start hypervenilating you'll have a panic attack!" She commanded. Meta was surprised to see the cat-rabbit act serious for once.

He took deep, slow breaths and squeezed Zero's paws in attempts to calm himself. He managed to stop hypervenilating, which was good. He looked at the others with a nod, panting. "I'm...I'm okay." He confirmed. All three of them breathed a sigh of relief.

"Can we go now? I don't know how much longer I can wait.." Kit pleaded, looking down. Meta nodded to her.

"Yeah, let's go."

They trudged on through the woods. Soon enough, Nick began to act strange. Not just normal Nick strange, but really strange.

"My entire spell.. My engulfed in sort of spell.. My en some spell... My has beentire body has body has body has body engulfed in some sort of sort of sort of sort of spell..." he mumbled. Zero looked at him wearily.

"Baby? Are you okay?"

"Lennnw Ilt wet.. n ttl oui. tIIznsttionnI tiqhj tsrt Iuoai ote etnlr ow'eobeali iotimeeondsuk, wet. n ttl oui. tIIznsttionnI tiqhj tsrt Iuoai ote etnlr ow'eobeali iotimeeondsuk,.e ahaaah no..harlequinn."

"What?"

Meta stared at Nick uneasily. _Oh great, don't tell me he's speaking Blazarian now!_

"I, god, I am I am boooy! Goy. A a am good goy. Boy. A am am am a goy. A goy. Booty boy." Nick began flailing his arms around violently, and then he started crying.

"I think the bug that bit him must have poisoned him, he's totally out of it!" Zero exclaimed as she turned over to Meta and Kit. The two exchanged glances Then looked back to Nick.

"Nay, Sire! Um Napppppy. Nathay. Than. Nathaniel. Darnirnirapy therapy. I haniurthdaraq bium haraq be beliurathanirathdaniranieve Napy thapy. belira Nay Na urt happy. Uranium. That it...I birtharanirtharthdapy. We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

"Vhat zhe hell is he saying?!"

"D-don't ask me!"

The creamy cat-rabbit had enough. She marched right up to Nick and slapped him right across the face. He rubbed his cheek and said nothing. She crossed her arms. "Better?" He stared at her for several moments, then cleared his throat.

"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal..."

Zero facepawed.

A few minutes later, Kit tugged on Meta's arm. "Vhat is it?" She asked.

"Are we almost there? I'm just nervous I might have an accident.." she mewed, flattening her ears and shying away adorably. Meta's heart thumped and she quickly replied,

"Ve're almost zhere, don't vorry." She assured. "I'll make sure you don't have one." Kit smiled at her sweetly, causing her to internally melt.

"Lorem ipsum is a pseudo-Latin text used in web design, typography, layout, and printing in place of English to emphasise design elements over content. It's also called placeholder (or filler) text. It's a convenient tool for mock-ups. It helps to outline the visual elements of a document or presentation, e.g. typography, font, or layout."

Well that killed the moment. The only warm feeling Meta felt now was annoyance.

Her ears perked up suddenly when she stopped. Zero and Kit looked at her curiously. "What is it?" Zero asked. Meta slowly turned to look at her, but then she turned away and looked through the trees.

"Vell zhis is a problem." She spoke.

"What is?" Kit asked.

"...okay, don't freak out...but I zhink ve're lost."

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the camp, Saber and Cecil were still keeping eachother company. _Come on, Saber, you finally have him alone, you can't lose this chance! _The black tomcat told himself, as he kept trying to find a way to squeeze his feelings into his coversation with Cecil.

"Listen, uhh...Cecil?" Saber spoke up suddenly. The silver rabbit blinked his wide blue eyes at him.

"Yeah, Saber?"

He felt his heart begin to beat faster, and he began to sweat. "Um...can I...talk...to you about something?" He choked out. "It's uh...kinda.. important."

Crunch.

"Sure, what is it?" Cecil asked, raising his ears up curiously. The black tomcat's face burned a bright red color, and he bit his lip nervously.

Crunch crunch.

"It's...it's just...well...I guess for a while...I dunno really...I just kind...k...kinda...like-"

"HIYA!" Suddenly, a white tomcat sprung out from between the two of them.

"AHHH!" Both of them screamed in alarm, jolting backwards, away from the tom. He covered a grin and started giggling like a child.

"Uughh, I hate you Batter." Saber growled once he started laughing. Cecil glared at him.

"Don't scare us like that!" He scolded, causing the numen to laugh even harder. He collapsed onto his back, hollering and holding his belly. His hat even fell off he was laughing so hard.

Saber rolled his eyes, but inside he was slightly relieved by this interruption. _Maybe he guessed already so you won't have to continue your sentence..._

"We were kind of in the middle of something important." Cecil hissed, his eyes narrowed angrily.

"That's _exactly_ why I did it! Bahahaha!" Batter rolled around in the grass and leaves, purrs escaping his throat between his laughter. He was clearly amused.

Saber elbowed him. "Go bug someone else." He giggled more and crawled away through the grass. Both of them let out deep sighs then looked at eachother.

"What were you saying?" Cecil's pretty blue eyes glittered curiously. Saber felt his soul leave his body and quickly jolted back to reality.

"U-uhhh," the black cat stammered. "I was s...saying that...I really...liked...y...yo-uu-URRR COOKING!" he blurted quickly. Cecil blinked in confusion.

"My cooking?"

"Y-Y-YES.." his face was flushed red and his body was shaking in fear. "I-IT'S R-R-REALLY GOOD..." Cecil stared at him a little longer.

"Are you sure you weren't just trying to confess to being in love with me but chickened out?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow. Saber shook his head violently, and swallowed nervously. Cecil shrugged.

"Maka, then. I never thought my food was that good, it's nice to know you enjoy it." The silver rabbit smiled. Saber sighed in relief.

"M-minow." He replied sheepishly.

"WHADDYA MEAN WE'RE LOST!?" Zero roared, grabbing Meta's arms and pulling her closer.

"I _mean_ I have no idea vhere ve are. Ve vere on track at first but vhen Nick vent delusional I vasn't paying attention to vhere ve vere going!" Meta exclaimed. "And you're reacting exactly how I told you not to. If you freak out zhis vill only get more stressful."

Kit wobbled over to her. "Meta, if we're lost, I might..." she trailed off in fear.

"Don't vorry, I'll find atleast a kiosk vith a map. If ve can find zhat ve can get you to a bazhroom AND we can get back to camp. Okay?" Meta put a paw on her forehead reassuringly, and Kit nodded half-heartedly.

"I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation..." Nick began, and Zero swatted him.

"We're lost because of you!" She hissed in frustration.

"Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation..." he went on anyway.

Meta blinked and looked to the left then right. She pointed forward. "My intuition tells me it is zhis vay!" She announced, and raced forward and led the three through the dense woodland. The trees were incredibly tall, and the white moonlight overhead seemed to pour through the branches like baton ribbons. It felt almost surreal. But the fun was only beginning.

"I. Can't. Believe. This." Zero began to rant. "It is a Friday night in the middle of Kwatian, and I'm lost in a forest in the middle of New Stellia with my delusional poisoned boyfriend, a lunatic who got us lost, and a girl who's about to burst like a balloon!"

Meta stopped in her tracks and turned back to Zero. "A LUNATIC WHO GOT YOU LOST!? I'm zhe one trying to help us find our vay back! If anyone here is a lunatic, it's you, pervert!" Zero gasped and glared at the wolf-fox.

"ME!? A PERVERT!?"

"YES! YOU KEEP SEXUALLY HARASSING EVERYONE STAYING VITH US!"

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart."

"ARE YOU REALLY TAKING IT SERIOUSLY!? ARE YOU _REALLY!?_"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE KIDDING OR NOT! IT JUST ISN'T OKAY, ZERO!"

"Try to be like the turtle - at ease in your own shell."

"Guys?..." Kit breathed nervously.

"IT'S A FREE COUNTRY!"

"VHAT ARE YOU, FIVE?!"

"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky."

"G-guys..." the gray she-cat shuffled her feet, her heart beginning to beat faster and she began to sweat. "Please.."

"01011111011010101010 piano."

"I'M 20 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU!"

"HAG."

"wHAT THE FHUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME, LORELEY VALENTINE!?"

Tears filled her eyes and she covered her mouth, and shoved her other paw into her crotch desperately. "G-g-guys...!"

"Don't limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve."

"YOU HEARD ME!"

"I WILL WRITE YOU UP AND GIVE YOU RUG BURN, BlTCH."

Kit let out a wail as tears began to stream down her face. "No...please...n-no..." she whimpered, her knees turning to jell-o and her heart practically beating out of her chest.

"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it."

Let's set the scene now: Meta the wolf-fox and Zero the cat-rabbit with their heads rammed together, sparks in their eyes with gritted teeth and clenched fists and readied claws - as philosopher-delusional-poisoned Nick is standing peacefully nearby.

Meta let out a growl and Zero hissed as they began to circle eachother like wild wolves about to attack. The moonlight lit up their battlefield as neither one broke eye contact, staring to the death. The tension rised like an incoming wave, preparing to crash on the shore. Their hearts pounded like war drums, and they both were ready to kill-

"NnyyyaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Both of them froze, and looked at eachother in confusion. Then to Nick.

"My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure."

Then both of their faces fell. They very slowly turned their attention to Kit, standing nearby. Actually, it was more of an awkward bent huddle. Her black eyes were completely wide with terror and her teeth were grit. Tears streamed down her cheeks uncontrollably. Meta exchanged a glance with Zero again, but Zero didn't look up. Her face was completely frozen. Meta raised an eyebrow and looked over to see what she was staring at, and she immediately covered her mouth in surprise.

Of course, I could go into great detail here, but I know you don't want that so I'll spare you this time - you know what's going on anyway. Kit let out continuous whines of distress as it happened, her eyes twitching and legs squishing together desperately, as if it would stop it, but to no avail. Meta had absolutely no idea how to react to what she was witnessing. (A mix of fear, confusion, and excitement. Not to mention it was kinda turning her on.)

"...oh." Zero finally croaked. "She's...oh."

When it finally came to a stop, Kit's knees gave way and she collapsed to the ground. She was shaking in shock, her entire body grown numb. "Oh...oh my gosh..." she stammered.

"War does not determine who is right - only who is left."

"SHUT UP NICK!"

* * *

"I don't wanna go to beeed!" The lavender she-kit squeaked her face falling into her pillow. Nearby, Kira grunted and kicked her sister in the leg.

"Go to sleep already! I'm tired!" She snarled, tucking deeper into her sleeping bag, but Lavender kept whining. Across the tent, Pippin sat back with his arms crossed lazily behind his head.

"Will both of you please stop arguing?" He dared politely. Both girls turned to stare at him.

"You stay outta this, Alberian kid!" Lavender snapped, her wings jerking out and tail fluffing up angrily. Pippin blinked widely and backed off. She turned back to her sibling. "I'm getting up. Bye."

She unzipped the sleeping bag and pulled herself out of the bed, and made her way out of the tent. Kira facepawed and stood up and followed, leaving Pippin behind. The wolf pup jolted up.

"H-hey! Don't leave me!" He wailed, hurrying after the two girls.

They raced out into the camp, Kira chasing her sister desperately. Lavender suddenly skid to a halt. Kira stopped beside her to see she was staring directly at something.

"Vanya?" Lavender puzzled. The gray tomcat was sprawled out proactively in the grass, muching on something with a book in his paws.

"Hiya, kids!" He greeted cheerfully when he noticed them. Pippin twitched his eye uncomfortably. "Want some candy? I've got kitkats!"

"...no thanks."

"Whatcha readin'?" Lavender padded over to him. The book cover read _Пустельга._ He jolted away uncomfortably.

"Nothing!" He grinned sheepishly. Pippin rolled his eyes. Whatever it was, he knew that it was something stupid and Vanya-esk. "Why're you kids still up?"

"Lavender can't sleep, can you entertain her so I can go back to bed?" Kira huffed. Vanya blinked and looked at Lavender then back to Kira.

"We can go on an adventure." He smiled widely. "But you have to come, Kira!" The blue cat's face fell, but she sighed and replied,

"...fine, _only _if we come back soon."

"We will! C'mon, children!" Vanya stood up and put his paws on his hips and held his head proudly. "Adventure awaits!"

The four tred on through the camp, and hurried out the entrance. "Where is he taking us?" Kira whispered to Pippin. He leaned over and replied,

"I have absolutely no idea..."

* * *

"Great. Just great. _Awesome._" Zero moaned, as the four kids stumbled over the undergrowth beneath the tall flora. "Now we've got a beetle-headed Nick, an unbelievably rude Meta, and a soaking wet Kit! What's next? Falling in a _pitfall_?!" She complained, then groaned again.

"Your complaining isn't fixing anything, Zero." Meta reminded her patiently. "All it's doing is adding to the stress. Neither Nick or Kit had control over what happened to them."

"But you had full control over your bad mouth!" She jeered. Meta bit her lip calmly, knowing fighting back would solve nothing. Kit sniffled and rubbed her eye.

"I-I-I-..I'm s-s-sorr..y..." she whimpered, her face flushed green and tears filling her eyes again. Meta put a paw on her shoulder.

"It's okay, really Kit. You don't have to keep apologizing." She insisted. The gray she-cat turned away, not even wanting to look at her. Meta just sighed.

"Hey hey hey!" Zero said suddenly. "No way!" Her voice was oddly cheerful despite her ranting moments earlier. She raced over and knelt down in the grass.

"Vhat?" Meta pricked her ears curiously and approached.

"What is that? A worm? It's so big." The creamy rabbit was pointing to a rock with a leaf over it. Meta couldn't see it, so she reached down to lift up the leaf. "Wait, are those legs?" The wolf-fox turned to ice in a heartbeat, with her paw frozen midair, about to touch it. From the bottom of the leaf, a strange, worm like thing eased out from below, directly under her paw. "Oh!" Zero exclaimed, "it's a millipede!"

Breath caught in the wolf-fox's throat, fear choking her like a thick fog, blocking all rational thought. Her feet remained rooted to the spot unwilling to move. The only thing she could hear was her own breathing which was coming out in shallow gasps. Her heart began to beat irregularily fast and her body began to shake subtlety, slowily growing more and more rapid. Adrenaline zipped through her veins faster and faster, and her mouth opened, but no sound came out. The entire world began to crumble around her, up until one final heartbeat.

"_**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**_" The wolf-fox let out a bloodcurdling scream, and collapsed backwards, scooting far away in mere moments. She backed up against a tree and clenched her arms. "KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT **KILL IT!**" She urged, her eyes completely wide with terror. Zero snickered and covered her grin.

"Wow Meta, I didn't know you were scared of arthropods." She giggled.

"**ARE YOU DEAF!? I SAID KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!**" She wailed, covering her eyes and curling into a ball on the forest floor. Zero rolled her eyes and picked up a stone and squished it, making an awful crunching sound.

"Better?" Meta let out a sigh of relief and her arms went limp and fell to her sides.

"K-k-kinda..." she answered meekly. Zero fell into a fit of laughter.

"I can't believe it! I've never seen you so pale! Imagine how bad you'll be when you're about to have your first _kiss!_" She hollered, wiping away tears of laughter. Meta's face burned a dark blue and she looked away.

"Sh-shut up..." she grumbled.

* * *

"Okay, here's the plan-" Vanya began, and started etching a plan into the dirt.

"What are we doing again? Lavender spoke up curiously. Vanya didn't look up for a few moments, then backed away from the plan. The three kids crowded around it. It was a map of the entire forest, detail for detail, with a circle marking their current location. There were arrows pointing towards an X on the other side. "Isn't that the park main kiosk?"

"Yeppers! It has maps, restrooms, a lounge, and even _brochures._"

"So...why are we going there?" Pippin questioned, raising an eyebrow disbelieving. Vanya shot him a smile.

"There's a vending machine there!" The tomcat exclaimed. Kira lowered her eyelids.

"Oh, let me guess. All you want from there is some candy..." She yawned, and he nodded.

"You betcha. I need some sugar to wake me up. C'mon, let's go!" He piped, leading the youngsters onward. All three of them sighed in annoyance, but followed after him anyway, not wanting to be left alone in the woods.

The azure she-cat suddenly halted. Pippin and Lavender stopped and looked back. "Kira? What's wrong?" Pippin asked, as he and her sister approached her. The blue molly was tugging on her skirt. It was snagged on a branch. Vanya stopped to and walked over to help her. He started pulling on it, but the fabric began to tear. She swatted his paw away quickly.

"Stop!" She cried, "it'll tear off!" Vanya stepped back and thought for a moment.

"It's snagged in there pretty nastily, it's weird." Vanya meowed. "Hmm. You might have to take it off." Her green eyes widened in alarm.

"A-ARE YOU CRAZY?!" she squeaked in shock. "I'M NOT TAKING OFF MY SKIRT! Y-YOU'RE A BOY!" She pointed to Pippin. "_HE'S _A BOY!"

Vanya frowned. "If you don't, you'll be stuck here."

"B-BETTER THAN EXPOSING MYSELF!" Kira cried out.

Pippin sighed, then looked down and realized something. If he took off his shirt and let her wear it, she could take it off without showing anything because his shirt was long. He looked over to her. "Hey Kira, my shirt is long, you can wear it." He smiled. Her eyes lit up at this and she blushed.

"You don't have to do that, Pip..." she mewed. He tensed up at her use of the nickname.

"Well, it was me who offered." Pippin repeated. He then reached and unbuttoned his shirt, and slipped it off his shoulders to reveal his chestfur. He pulled it off his arms and padded over and slipped it onto Kira, even helping her button it. All the while he enjoyed what went through her head for those 30 seconds.

Once it was on, she slipped out of her skirt safely and stepped onto the ground. "C'mon, lets keep going." Vanya meowed.

* * *

"Vhere did she go?" Meta quavered.

"Millipedes are myriapods of the class Diplopodathat have two pairs of legs on most body segments, Each double-legged segment is a result of two single segments fused together as one (the name "Diplopoda" comes from the Greek words διπλοῦς(diplous), and ποδός (podos),"

"I don't know," Kit replied, "I wasn't paying attention, she disappeared a few minutes ago atleast." Meta frowned and exhaled in frustration.

"Dammit, Zero...vhy did you have to run off..." she growled, then started scanning the trees. She turned around and started walking left of the way they came.

"Millipedes are detritivores and often slow moving. Most millipedes eat decaying leaves and other deadplant matter. However, they can also be minor garden pests, especially in greenhouses where they can cause severe damage to emergent seedlings." Nick kept spouting random nonsense.

"Nick, vhat zhe hell did zhat bug inject you with? Internet access?" Meta betted. Nick didn't reply at first, but he stretched and yawned, smacking his lips.

"_The gray she-cat reached her arms around her mate's neck and accepted the kiss. She tensed and pulled her closer forging her lips deeper and clenched the back of her orange shirt. Meta grunted and moved forward, getting herself over Kit and leaning her back, deepening their liplock._"

Meta stopped talking to him.

Kit's ears perked up, as she heard footsteps. Multiple footsteps, so it wasn't Zero. She nudged Meta. "Hey, do you hear that?" The wolf-fox looked up and listened, and flicked one ear.

"Yeah!" She exclaimed. Meta grabbed Nick and dragged him along with her and Kit through the dense woodland. She scanned the trees until she made out 4 silhouettes. They raced over, and...

"Vanya? Pippin? Lavender? Kira?" She listed off the four faces that stood before her.

"Meta! Kit! Nick! It's nice seeing you three out here!" Vanya greeted, not commenting on the roughed up trio, unlike the kids.

"What are you guys doing out here?" Pippin asked.

"And Nick, why do you look drunk?" Added Kira.

"What about you, Kit? Why are you all...did you...pee yourself?" Gasped Lavender.

The three all exchanged glances and Meta replied, "Ve...got lost. Zero's missing. Have you seen her?" The wolf-fox clucked hopefully, trying to ease attention away from her love interest and the poisoned fox. The other group all shook their heads.

"We were just off to the kiosk." Vanya explained. "I just thought I'd bring these little insomniacs with me." He added, with a glance at the kids.

"Zhats vhere ve vere going, because Kit had to use zhe restroom, but..." she decided to end that sentence differently, "...liiiike I vas saying, ve got lost."

"Well, let's go there now. Maybe Zero's waiting for you. I know where it is." Vanya purred, his dark green eyes shining brightly. The three of them joined with Vanya and the children, and they continued through the trees.

Soon enough, they emerged into a grass clearing with a few small buildings tightly packed, and teller machines lined up against the outside. "Fiiinallyyy." Meta let out a sigh of relief as they approached it. When they had reached it, Kit hurried ahead in hopes of cleaning herself up, but the entire group was stopped when they saw two figures already there.

"Saber and Cecil?" Everyone bleated simultaneously. The caped black tomcat and the silver rabbit seer turned around and faced the group.

"There you guys are!" Saber called when he saw them. "Cecil and I followed you a little after you left, but you never got here. What took so lo-" he cut himself off as he looked at them all a little more closely. "...what the heckie happened to you guys?" He meowed in surprise.

"Uhh..." Meta cleared her throat and repeated herself a third time. "Ve got lost."

Saber and Cecil blinked widely. "How did you get lost? There's a path, you know."

"Vait, vhat?"

"I was wondering why you four left in the opposite direction of the kiosks."

"Quoth the raven, nevermore."


End file.
